


It's Still Beautiful

by starjay



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, wonhyuk being cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:03:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starjay/pseuds/starjay
Summary: “Since the beginningYour heart was too beautiful for me to haveTimes I spent with youAll of it was beautiful”





	It's Still Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

  * For [royaljeno](https://archiveofourown.org/users/royaljeno/gifts).



> I just wanted to write some angst after all the fluff I was drowning in and this happened. There isn't even as much angst in this as I would have liked. I'm losing my touch OTL
> 
> Elements from the Band/College AU inspired by vixx17andbtsimagines' posts.
> 
> Title is a song by Highlight!

“Alright guys, let's make this show a good one!” Hyunwoo hollered from his end of the stage, going over the sound checks with Changkyun and Kihyun before making his way over to Hoseok. _Sacramento_ was unusually packed for the Thursday night, college students and underaged high school kids who no doubt all carried fake IDs filtering into the club in groups of twos and threes despite it being only quarter to eight. Most of them were seated at a table rather than the bar, where a single bartender was wiping down glasses in preparation for the evening, and even those by the counter were looking in the direction of the stage. Hoseok smiled to himself as he plugged in the cord to his keyboard and adjusted his microphone. Looks like their band’s reputation as Monsta X had spread far enough for so many to show up just to listen to them play, which in turn will rake in profit for the club and therefore ensure they would be able to continue playing.

Hyunwoo showed up next to him in an instant, having double checked the positioning of the other two members that made up their band. Being the leader and founder of Monsta X, Hoseok knew he went the extra mile each time to ensure perfection, making him unnecessarily serious at times, but tonight, it seemed as though the sight of the crowd loosened him up just enough for him to bump shoulders with Hoseok, smiling a little as he caught sight of him looking at their audience.

“You nervous?”

Hoseok returned his smile and shook his head a little, looking at the keyboard while he formulated a response. No, most nights he wasn't nervous for he was pretty confident in his keyboarding skills and that he had each of their songs down by heart, yet at the moment his heart beat just a bit faster when he imagined his audience. Minhyuk had promised to be at the show tonight, which means he had to try extra hard to impress his, well, _boyfriend_ of three months now.

“Just a little,” he settled on admitting, fiddling with the knobs on the keyboard just to have something to do with his hands.

Having wandered over to the conversing pair after finishing adjustments, Kihyun casually commented, “Isn't Minhyuk coming tonight? Gotta try to impress him, right?”

At that, Hoseok turned just a shade redder and started at the keys of his instrument, mulling over whether to die in embarrassment or to hit his friend over the head with the keyboard. He was thankfully saved from replying by a fan’s loud screaming of “Kihyun oppa!”, which led said boy away from the conversation to wink and throw finger hearts in the general direction of the girl, creating an uproar of more screams and professions of love. Hoseok heavily regretted telling his friend about his relationship status in a moment of weakness, but at least he had blackmail material after catching Kihyun and Changkyun make out in the bathroom two nights ago during break time.

Finding the willpower to lift his head once the reason for his embarrassment left, Hoseok scanned the crowd once more for the familiar silver head to pop up amidst the sea of brown, blue, and purple. Catching sight of Minhyuk off to one side of the room, dressed casually in a light blue button-up and ripped jeans with smeared eyeliner and eyes darting around like a puppy, Hoseok found his heart melting just a bit more for the adorable boy he can now proudly call his boyfriend.

Their eyes met for just a second before Hyunwoo was calling the band together, and Minhyuk flashed him a big smile and a thumbs up before he had to hurry over to the group.

“Hoo! Monsta X! It's gonna be a good night!” Hyunwoo said as they pushed their hands downwards before scattering to their respective stations. The drummer hit the sticks together in countdown as they started playing to the screams of their adoring fans. Minhyuk had made his way to the front of the crowd despite the wave of fangirls, and Hoseok could see that he had brought a small hand made sign that read ♥ _MONSTA WONHO_ ♥. It was going to be a good night, indeed.

  
\--  


They had met by chance one day when Kihyun introduced them to Jooheon, a college student who majored in engineering but frequented _Sacramento_ just to hear them play for he had an interest in music production. He had hit it off almost immediately with Changkyun for although the younger boy was typically awkward when first meeting someone, as soon as Jooheon had mentioned rap there was no return. It was through him that they inevitably met Minhyuk and Hyungwon, who also went to the same college as him.

Now, Hoseok didn't believe in love at first sight. Love at the third meeting with said love interest falling asleep on you after passing out drunk, however, was another issue entirely.

It was another one of those college parties thrown at a frat house with lots of loud music and free alcohol, one that Kihyun had somehow managed to drag him to. Although he truly appreciated having his same-age friend in his life, Hoseok sometimes wondered how they were still friends.

Kihyun had disappeared into the house as soon as they’d arrived, leaving Hoseok on the couch awkwardly as tipsy girls and guys alike tried to grind on him in some semblance of dancing. He’d briefly considered leaving the party, for it had started quite a while ago and he surely would not be missed, but Kihyun had a sixth sense when it came to these kind of things and he would not hear the end of it if he decided to bail now.

Hoseok was just in the middle of standing up in hopes of finding a quieter place when he was pushed back onto the sofa as someone fell on him, and Hoseok found himself lying on the couch with a lapful of one very drunk, and very cute Lee Minhyuk. Looking back on it, he probably should've helped the student up rather than stare at his face, but he couldn't help himself. Even under the poor lighting, the ethereal glow that he could now attest was always present surrounded Minhyuk’s features, making them appear that much more delicate. Minhyuk’s lids were hooded in what definitely was an attempt to look seductive, biting his lower lips sensually, but he managed to hold the expression for all of two seconds before bursting into giggles, eyes crinkling into adorable crescents and bunny-like front teeth peeking out. Hoseok’s stomach exploded with butterflies then and there, and he had to swallow several times to find his voice again.

“Um, Minhyuk...ssi, are you alright?” he asked, gently shaking the younger boy.

“Hmm? Mm,” Minhyuk mumbled in response before his eyes lit up in recognition. “Hoseok-hyung? Hiiiiiii.” He wagged his fingers in front of him as Hoseok helped him sit up, only realizing then how close their faces were. Hoseok cleared his throat and shifted away, missing the small “wow” of awe and Minhyuk staring at his face in his haste of distancing himself.

“Minhyuk, you're drunk. You need to go home,” Hoseok managed to reason, trying shake free the spell Minhyuk had cast on him.

Minhyuk scooted closer again to cling onto his arm, pouting at him with his large puppy eyes. “Hyuuuunnng,” he whined. “Then take me home.”

Hoseok shook his head incredulously. Drunk Minhyuk was so much more demanding than Sober Minhyuk, yet he can't really say he disliked this side of him. “I don't know where you live.”

“Then take me back to your place. Please, hyung?”

Hoseok groaned internally. Being born in the same year, Minhyuk technically didn't need to use honorifics with him, but if he kept insisting on calling him hyung, Minhyuk might just be the end of him.

“Minhyuk-ah.” He hesitated at the imploring eyes. There was no telling how well Minhyuk will cope with his hangover tomorrow, and he could take care of him if he brought the younger boy back to his apartment. At least, that was how he reasoned with himself. He was almost sure Kihyun wouldn't mind.

(Kihyun did, in fact, mind, but waking up with Minhyuk clinging onto him fast asleep like a koala bear made the yelling worth it.)

  
\--  


Hoseok bowed alongside his band after they performed their last song, much to the disappointment of their screaming fans. A quick glance at the old cracked clock on the wall showed it was close to two in the morning, yet the adrenaline rushing through his veins after the successful show would no doubt keep him awake for the rest of the night. He thankful yet again that he’d decided to drop out of school to do music, and therefore did not have to wake up early for any morning classes.

Stepping off the stage after packing up all the equipment, Hoseok was met with a flurry of silver hair as Minhyuk threw himself at him with a wide grin. The younger boy had initially wanted them to dye their hair matching colours, and he would never forget the betrayed look on Minhyuk’s face when he found out that Hoseok had chosen a slightly more golden colour than his own.

“Gold and silver don’t go together,” he had said while pouting, but it took all of two seconds for him to be convinced that they matched as Hoseok kissed the pout away.

“Min Min,” he said in greeting, dropping a small peck onto his head and carefully setting down his keyboard so he could embrace his boyfriend properly. He saw Minhyuk blush before looking up with his ever-present grin, tilting his head to catch him on the lips.

“Gross,” he heard Changkyun mutter as he walked past them, and Hoseok turned to see the maknae’s face scrunched up in mock-disgust as he dragged the remnants of his electric guitar away.

“As if you and Kihyun aren’t worse,” Minhyuk shot back rapidfire, and _god_ , he loved him so much. Hoseok watched as Changkyun spluttered indignantly and hurried past them to dispose of the unfortunate guitar. He always got carried away during their shows and never failed to smash the instrument in by the end of most performances, and tonight was no exception.

“I can’t believe you made it ‘til the end of the show,” Hoseok murmured to Minhyuk after Changkyun left. “Don’t you have class at eight tomorrow? Or, well, today, technically.”

Minhyuk shrugged, unconcerned, though Hoseok noted that his eyes were slightly droopy from fatigue. “Bio,” he told his boyfriend as an answer. “There’s like… a lab in the morning? I dunno, but it should be fine.” He was going to say more, but a huge yawn split his face nearly in half, and Minhyuk blinked sleepily at him.

Hoseok couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s what you say every time, before you show up at my place with suspicious looking stains. And don’t get me started on the time you came home with a cut on your hand from breaking a beaker.”

Minhyuk pouted, as if he couldn’t believe Hoseok still remembered, but rather than saying so, he simply smiled. “You said ‘home’.”

The keyboardist flushed red at his slip of the tongue. “You basically live there, anyway,” he mumbled. “It’s late, you should go back to your dorms soon. I’ll drive you.”

“Just take me back to your place. Home,” Minhyuk replied, having all but melted in his arms. One of his favourite things about the younger boy was that he never failed to show up for moral support, disregarding it being an ungodly hour and having a class in the morning. Hoseok shook his head in amusement, bending down to fully pick Minhyuk up and looking around for Monsta X’ leader. He located the drummer coming down the stage with coils of cords around his biceps.

“Hyunwoo hyung,” he called out softly. “Can you help me carry the keyboard to my car?”

Hyunwoo looked at the couple with a knowing smile, shifting the cords to make room for the keyboard, picking it up effortlessly as his muscles rippled. “Sunshine fell asleep on you again?” Sunshine was what the rest of the band would jokingly call his boyfriend, for nothing seemed to fit more for the cheerful boy with a perpetually blinding smile all the time.

Hoseok gave him a sheepish nod and adjusted his hold on Minhyuk, who had managed to fall asleep in the span of five minutes and was now clinging onto him like the first time he brought him back to his apartment. He followed Hyunwoo to the parking lot, and impulsively, thinking Minhyuk was sleeping, he whispered into his hair softly.

“I love you, Min Min.”

Settling Minhyuk into the shotgun seat and going around the car to sit in the opposite side, he missed the small smile that graced his boyfriend’s lips once again as he murmured, “Love you too, Seokie.”

  
\--  


Saying they got together by chance would be a lie. To this date, Hoseok had no idea how a beautiful, wonderful human being like Minhyuk would ever pay attention to him; surely he must find Kihyun or Changkyun more interesting simply for how vocal they were during heated discussions. In hindsight, their getting together was probably thanks to a certain ~~meme~~ linguistic student who was tired of them pining after each other. Or so he claimed.

Walking through the campus to get to the performing arts building to see Minhyuk as usual, Hoseok found himself suddenly greeted by the familiar sight of Jooheon’s snapback, present even in the cold January weather.

“Hey hyung,” he greeted as he caught up to him, slinging an arm around his shoulder in a way that was far too forced to be casual. “How’s it going?”

“Hi, Jooheon,” Hoseok replied, resuming his pace in a confused manner. “What happened? You don’t usually greet me around campus.”

“Nothing!” he exclaimed, a little too loudly. “You’re going to see Minhyuk hyung, right? Just… making sure you won’t get lost.”

“Jooheon-ah, while I appreciate the offer, I’ve been coming here regularly for over two weeks. I’m sure I know my way around.” He wondered what the younger boy was up to now, but he received no response.

They had reached the building, Hoseok leading the way until they arrived at the studio Minhyuk usually used for dance practice. Faint music could be heard on the other side of the door, and he took a deep breath before holding a hand up to knock. Even after having known Minhyuk for a while now, the prospect of seeing him always brought a flurry of butterflies in his stomach that never quite went away. Before he could knock, however, a figure opened the door without hesitation, and he was pushed into the room as the door slammed shut. The sound of the lock clicking and Jooheon’s quiet “please don’t kill me, it was Hyungwon’s idea” was the last thing he heard before the situation caught up to him.

He was alone. With Minhyuk. In a _locked room_.

Hoseok turned around, careful not to make any sound, only to find that Minhyuk was still immersed in his dancing and was not bothered by the disturbance. He's seen Minhyuk dance before, on account of him being a dance education major, but never alone, and never has he seen Minhyuk dance with such fluidity and seriousness before. Temporarily forgetting to be angry at the two idiots who locked him in, Hoseok found himself staring at Minhyuk’s moving figure with his mouth agape. It wasn't until their eyes met in the floor to ceiling mirror that he was reminded of their current predicament.

Minhyuk stopped mid twirl, setting his foot down and hurrying to turn off the music, wiping off his brow. A single bead of sweat rolled down his face, and Hoseok had to remind himself to keep breathing.

“Hoseok, I didn't see you there.” Sexy Minhyuk was gone, replaced by the Cheerful Minhyuk everyone saw.

“Sorry about that. Jooheon and I think Hyungwon locked me in here,” Hoseok said in explanation. “And now we're stuck together.”

“Oh,” Minhyuk let out, smile falling from his face as he bit his lower lip thoughtfully. Hoseok couldn't tell if this reaction was good or bad.

Before he could come up with a response, however, his phone chimed, alerting him to a new text message.

 **Pepe the Frog:** i won’t open the door until you ask him out  
**Pepe the Frog:** we’re all tired of your loving eyes towards each other when you think the other isn't looking  
**Pepe the Frog:** please put us out of our misery

Clearing his throat in a flustered manner, Hoseok quickly put his phone away to be met with the same unreadable gaze of Minhyuk. He shifted nervously from foot to foot, wondering how long he could drag this out without it being awkward. If Hyungwon was right, then there was that smidge of chance that Minhyuk felt the same way about him. If he was wrong, then Hoseok wasn't sure if their friendship could ever be salvaged.

Minhyuk kept his piercing gaze on him, waiting. “Aren't you going to tell me what's on your mind? You're so cute when you get flustered.”

“Not as cute as you,” Hoseok blurted out. “If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber.” He mentally cringed at the terrible pickup line, but Minhyuk just laughed. God, Hoseok loved seeing that laugh, even if he was the object of said laughter.

“I don't even like cucumbers, but that was almost sweet.”

“Not as sweet as you.” Because he's already too far down this hellhole, so why not? “If you were a fruit you'd be honeydew.”

Minhyuk threw his head back, revealing his adorable hamster teeth as his eye smile appeared. “Are you going to enlighten me with anymore pickup lines or are you actually going to tell me what's up?”

Hoseok swallowed, glancing at the door. Knowing Hyungwon, he was probably recording the entire confession for future blackmail material. “Lee Minhyuk,” he started carefully.

“Yes?”

“Ireallylikeyouwillyoubemyboyfriendohmygodihopeididntruinanythingimsosorry,” he got out in one breath.

“Yes.”

Hoseok blinked, already prepared to apologize a second time. “I'm sorry, what?”

“I said yes, dork,” Minhyuk huffed with a bashful smile. “I like you too.” He let out a little huff. “About time, you know. I thought I was cursed to flirting with you forever.”

“Why didn't you tell me?!” Hoseok demanded, feeling very much like he was cheated except he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that _Minhyuk said yes_. “We could've been dating already!”

Minhyuk shrugged like it was obvious. “I was waiting for you to ask me out. You're really cute when you're nervous.”

“Brat,” Hoseok muttered, closing the gap between them to capture Minhyuk’s lips, holding him against his chest.

“You love me,” Minhyuk murmured back against him, leaving a fluttery feeling in his chest. Yeah, he really did.

  
\--  


“Hoseok, someone’s here to see you.”

He looked up from where he was packing up equipment after another show at _Sacramento_. His eyes shot a questioning look at Hyunwoo, for though he had his own legion of adoring fans, they weren't allowed backstage, and no visitor of his would be a stranger to the rest of the band.

“I don't know, she just said she was your friend and that she wanted to talk. Didn't seem like a fan either, so I figured I'd come tell you.”

Hoseok nodded. “Thanks. Did she tell you her name?”

“Yeah, I asked. Yoon Soyeon or something?”

He felt his blood run cold. His ex was a possessive, rich daughter of some large business group and she almost ruined his life after a messy breakup. It was her, ironically, who made him discover he wasn't into girls at all, but she didn't take the news well. She had followed him around for weeks after the separation, until he finally moved to avoid her. But it seems as though she had found him again.

“Hoseok? You alright? If she's someone who bothers you I'll just tell her off,” Hyunwoo said worriedly after seeing his shell-shocked expression.

He shook his head. Alongside being possessive and rich, Soyeon was also crazy, and once she found him there would be no reeling what she might do. At the very least, Hoseok had to hear her out if only to make sure she wouldn't hurt anyone around him. “I'll go talk to her. Lead the way.”

“If you're sure. Yell if you need anything.” _If you need help_. Bless Hyunwoo and his ever-caring heart.

Hoseok was led to the parking lot at the back of the club, where the silhouette of a girl could be seen amongst the harsh neon lights in the background. Giving what he hoped was a reassuring nod to the drummer, Hoseok stepped forward tentatively so he could see her face in the dim streetlights.

Despite not seeing her for over three years, little had changed save for the unhinged look in her eyes, one that belong to a hungry, feral beast. She was dressed in a tiny crop top and a denim jacket with a frilly pink skirt and matching purse. Her brown hair, now streaked red rather than purple, was pulled back into a loose ponytail with curls at the end, and her eyes were lined with dark eyeliner to give her a dead look, the only part of her body that suggested anything was off at all.

“Soyeon-ssi,” Hoseok began carefully. “What brings you here?”

She let out a laugh of disbelief. “Soyeon-ssi? Don't be a stranger, Hoseok-ah. You and I both know how much you loved me at one point. Yeonie-yah, that's what you would call me. And now I don't even get a hello.”

Hoseok gritted his teeth. “I believe I made it clear when we broke up that I did not wish to see you again.”

“You'll never escape me, Seok-ah. You'll always be mine, whether you like it or not,” Soyeon vowed.

“Just leave me alone. What do you want?” Hoseok growled, clenching his fists.

She cooed. “Look at you, acting tough. You always did look so hot flexing your muscles.” Soyeon took a step forward to close their gap, trailing light fingers over his arm. He flinched, but she remained unbothered. “As for what I want…you, of course. It has always been you. But from what I gathered, you've been playing around behind my back.”

Before Hoseok could reiterate that _no, he did not belong to her_ , Soyeon took out a photo from her pocket. Even in the poor lighting, Hoseok was able to make out the outline of Minhyuk’s figure, bent over his textbooks in the college library and chewing on a pen absentmindedly. His heart clenched in his chest as she crumpled it up and threw it to the ground, crushing the picture beneath her heels.

“Leave Minhyuk out of this.”

“Or what?” she challenged. “You haven't been playing by the rules, either. Break up with him, or else I'll make sure you find his head in your mailbox.”

“I knew you were crazy. Leave him alone.”

“No. You belong to me, and I'll make sure he knows it. Break up with him, Hoseok. This picture? Taken by one of my hitmen. I'll be tracking your progress, darling.”

She pulled him into a kiss before he could react, winking and waving her fingers goodbye as she pulled away. “Not a word of this to another soul, or else…” Soyeon mimed a gun against her temple, disappearing into a black Mercedes and speeding away.

The silver-haired boy in the bushes watched the last moments of the exchange, standing just out of earshot. His hand holding plastic takeout containers dropped to his side, and he slipped quietly away with his dancer’s grace.

  
\--  


When Hoseok went to pick Minhyuk up at the shooting range a week later, his boyfriend was shooting at the target with more aggression than usual, angrily muttering under his breath. He walked up behind him as soon as he put down the bow, slipping his arms around his small waist and nuzzling into his neck. Minhyuk tensed in his hold for a moment before relaxing as he did every time, leading Hoseok to believe that the movement didn't happen at all.

“Minhyuk-ah, I missed you,” he murmured against his skin, planting a kiss just beneath his ear. “How was your day?”

“Fine,” came the short reply, before his boyfriend took aim once more, managing to score a nine even with the added weight on his back. Hoseok waited for him to elaborate, as he always would, recounting his day with bright enthusiasm, yet Minhyuk remained silent.

“What's wrong?” Hoseok asked, suddenly concerned. “Is it something I did?” He briefly recalled his conversation with his ex and instantly spun Minhyuk around, fearing that her reckless nature had led to rash actions already.

His boyfriend shook his head. There it was again - the tensing, before he shrugged his hands off his shoulders. “No, it's nothing. I'm just tired. Hey, you have a show tonight, right? Wanna grab a bite before going to the club?”

Without leaving room for argument, Minhyuk put his equipment away and grabbed Hoseok’s hand, leading him towards the exit.

As soon as they stepped outside, his senses put him on edge. Hoseok had always been a perceptive person, and even more so following his breakup with Soyeon. The tingling feeling that raised goosebumps on his skin was so similar to the stalking incidents that he couldn't help but look around. Three men, all wearing black and a pair of shades despite the cloudy weather, were placed strategically at different intervals to form a triangle, catching the two of them in the middle. Minhyuk hadn't noticed anything yet, and the men appeared harmless enough, but Hoseok knew that with a single command, a bullet could be put through his boyfriend’s head in an instant. Most people he might have been able to reason with, but having witnessed her insanity first hand, Hoseok knew that Soyeon wouldn't hesitate to order his boyfriend killed, or even pull the trigger herself.

As if his thoughts had summoned the devil, he spotted the brunette leaning against a car hood parked on the side of the street. Almost like she sensed him coming, Soyeon turned her head to give him a flirtatious wave and a wink, as if she wasn't threatening him at all but rather an acquaintance greeting an old friend.

“Hyung?” Minhyuk waved a hand before his face, making him realize that he had missed his question.

Hoseok blinked. “I'm sorry, could you repeat that?”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes with fondness and exasperation. “I asked what you wanted to eat. Samgyeopsal? Ramyun? Ooh, I know this really good ddeobokki place down the street.”

“Pick anything you want, I'm not particular,” Hoseok answered, entwining their fingers. “My treat.”

Minhyuk’s eyes lit up at the prospect of free food and began tugging him down the street energetically, previous bad mood vanishing.

As they passed the sleek black Mercedes, Soyeon dragged a thumb across her neck slowly, eyes darkening into something twisted and wicked. A warning. Hoseok walked just a bit faster, tightening his grasp on Minhyuk’s hand as if that would keep him safe from the world.

  
\--  


“Who is she?” Minhyuk demanded, throwing an old picture frame to the ground which shattered upon contact. In it was Hoseok and Soyeon at the beach, the former shading his eyes against the sun while the latter smiled widely at the camera. Better days, before her love for him had destroyed her from the inside, morphing it into something ugly and deformed. He must have forgotten to throw that picture away when he moved.

“No one. My ex. We parted a long time ago, you don't have to worry about her.”

“Then explain yourself. I saw you two kissing in the parking lot of the club. Tell me it was just a misunderstanding.” Minhyuk’s tone turned pleading. This was not the direction Hoseok had expected this to go when his boyfriend came over with the intent of helping him clean his apartment.

Hoseok pinched the bridge of his nose. _“Not a word to another soul, or else…”_ Soyeon had said. And he knew exactly what the or else would entail. So against his better judgement, Hoseok bit the inside of his cheek and kept silent. “It’s nothing,” he said dismissively, but unconvincingly.

“Hyung… please tell me I'm wrong then. It’s not what I think it is, right?”

His heart broke at the crestfallen look on the younger boy’s face. Minhyuk had told him, all those months ago when they first started going out, that one of the things he hated was getting betrayed. And now Hoseok was betraying the trust he had in him. “Min Min… I'm sorry,” he whispered. _._

__

“Seok-ah,” Minhyuk said, barely audibly as he tried to keep his tears in check. But he was never good at hiding his emotions, and they came anyway, cascading over his cheeks as he blinked at him with watery eyes.

Despite himself, Hoseok walked forward instinctively to wipe the tears off his face. His heart broke along with Minhyuk’s, and yet he dared take another step forward, until their foreheads touched and their hair mixed together. He hated himself for being a pawn to the twisted game Soyeon is playing, but he would give the world up to keep Minhyuk safe.

Minhyuk finally stepped away after an eternity, breaking the illusion of serenity. “Hyung, I can't be with someone who betrays my trust. Let's break up,” his mouth said. _Don't let me walk away_ , his eyes pleaded. Seeing he was getting no response, he chuckled dryly, looking up at the ceiling as he sniffled. “I told you silver and gold don't go together.”

“Minhyuk…” his voice cracked, unable to say more than his boyfriend’s - or is it ex-boyfriend now? - name. But the threat was still there, hanging potent in the air, and that was what ultimately restrained him from grabbing Minhyuk’s wrist as he turned away, what kept him frozen to his spot as Minhyuk wordlessly took his jacket from the closet, and what turned him mute as Minhyuk unlocked the door and carefully closed it behind him.

Hoseok sank into his couch, alone in the living room, and looked at his hands in his lap as the tears started falling.

  
\--  


The clock in his kitchen stuck midnight with a dull click, and Hoseok was roused from his daze by a knock on his door. His tears had long dried, and he ran a hand through his hair before answering the door. Maybe Kihyun had left his keys at home again. It wouldn't be the first time it happened.

Instead, Hoseok was met with the perfectly made up face of his ex-girlfriend. She'd been running through his mind the entire day as he cursed her out in every way imaginable for showing up, three years after their breakup, to ruin his life yet again as if she despised his happiness. And then he had moved on to cursing himself, for being weak and submitting to her little mind game, for being the mouse that fell prey once more to the cat. It was ironic that it was the sight of her face that made him lose it.

Checking to see that they were alone in the hallway, Hoseok turned to face her. “Are you happy now? Having ruined my relationship and made my life miserable once again. Congratulations, you've achieved your goal. Are you happy now?!” he whisper-yelled through clenched teeth, shoving her back. Hoseok opened his mouth to say more, but all the fight drained out of him and he just felt tired. Yelling at Soyeon wouldn't get Minhyuk back, wouldn't change anything except make him as big an asshole as she is.

Soyeon merely stood there in her crease-free clothing and designer heels, smiling smugly as if she just won the game. She had. “Of course it doesn't make me happy seeing you unhappy. I just want the best for you, and now I can do that. Because you're mine, and you always will be,” she sing-songed. “I'll see you around, sweetie.” Soyeon leaned forward to kiss his cheek, but he swatted her away before she could do so. However, she remained unbothered, and simply gave him another wink and wave that he'd started to hate and sauntered off, earrings tinkling mockingly. Hoseok slammed the door and sank to the floor, head between his knees in defeat.

  
\--  


“Hoseok-ah, you're sure?” Kihyun asked in surprise, pausing in the action of plugging in his microphone. It was rare that Hoseok sang at all, though solo stages weren't uncommon, and it was the first time he took initiative since his breakup with Minhyuk.

“Yeah, I told Hyunwoo hyung earlier today. You guys won't have to do anything, I've got it covered in the keyboard.”

“If you're sure, it's fine by me,” the lead singer replied shrugging, squinting at him suspiciously and no doubt wondering what brought upon the sudden attitude change. Just yesterday, the keyboardist had been an emotional zombie, and yet today he was asking to sing a solo at their show. Though given his apparent better mood, Kihyun decided he's leave him be. After all, even he had to tread carefully around Hoseok after the breakup.

Their performances flew by quickly and smoothly, minus a small hiccup when Kihyun got so into the song he nearly snapped the microphone stand. Finally, the lead singer turned the attention towards Hoseok, nodding at him to finish the show.

Hoseok cleared his throat and adjusted the microphone. “So, as most of you probably know, I went through a hard time in my life around a month ago,” he began. “Many of you guessed correctly that it was a breakup, and while the majority of you offered words of comfort, some of you asked what break up song I was listening to get over my ex.” The audience chuckled a bit at that, so he continued. “As a matter of fact, I never really did ‘get over’ him, and I probably never will. The one person who was most likely the love of my life left me because of my stupid actions.” He paused for effect, and his fans made a noise of sympathy. “But then I came across a song on a radio one day. And it reminded me that although the breakup hurt, what we had before was untouchable, preserved in a past that belonged to the two of us only. So I'm going to sing that song for you all today, to remind those of you that are going through the same thing I did that no matter what, the past was beautiful, and so long as you hold on to those fleeting moments in your memory, then that person will always be beautiful, too.”

The audience burst into applause, and Hoseok tried to settle his pounding heartbeat as his fingers found the familiar chords on the keyboard. He started singing.

“As if this street knows that I’m without you  
It embraces me  
I was afraid things would feel too unfamiliar  
But now it’s alright  
Don’t worry about me.”

_The first few weeks without Minhyuk was hell. Hoseok was used to his constant presence in his life, his smile and his laugh that never failed to brighten up his days. But he adapted quickly, and the streets that seemed so foreboding walked alone became a refuge of peace, where he could be left alone with his thoughts._

“The breakup you left behind is bitter  
But the love was so precious  
Because even this pain is from you  
I’m able to smile.”

_Hoseok's finger rested on a picture of him and Minhyuk taken right outside Sacramento. Even after the breakup, he never deleted the hundreds of photos of the younger boy from his phone, and in that moment, he allowed himself to forget about his pain and revel in the memory of the snapshot, their smiles and happiness immortalized by a camera that no one could take away, not even Soyeon._

“Even seeing you leave  
Is a memory to me  
Scars that had to form  
Will some day heal.”

_Hoseok’s hand ghosted over the scar on his forearm, obtained on the day he pushed Minhyuk out of a car’s way and cushioned his fall. It required seven stitches, yet the extent to which Minhyuk fussed over him for days after made the ordeal worth it. Because Minhyuk makes it worth it, every time._

“In all the places  
You are gone  
But even this empty spot  
Because it was you  
It’s beautiful as it is.

“I try smiling brightly  
But they say I seem sad somehow  
I guess I can’t help it  
I tried to hide it but it seeps out  
Because inside of me  
You’re not small."

_Hoseok missed having Minhyuk to talk to on late nights when sleep evaded him. He missed having someone call him at specific times to make sure he was eating. He missed the days when he would be in a bad mood, and his boyfriend would always cheer him up with just his silly personality and blinding smile. Hoseok missed Minhyuk._

“I have no right to be in pain  
Because when I look back  
I didn’t treat you as well  
As how precious you are  
As how much I loved you.”

_He wanted to blame Soyeon so bad. In a way, everything was her fault. But it was his too. He shouldn't have pushed Minhyuk away, shouldn't have hurt his precious boyfriend too pure for the world, shouldn't have left Minhyuk alone after the breakup. If only…_

“Since the beginning  
Your heart was too beautiful for me to have  
Times I spent with you  
All of it was beautiful.”

_He learned to treasure his photos and videos. He learned the beauty of preservation. He learned that not all memories with Minhyuk had to hurt. And he learned that it was okay to never move on, that it meant he was still feeling even if it was pain._

“You came to me in my dreams  
Although I knew it was a dream  
Hot tears streamed down my cheeks  
You’re still so beautiful.”

Hoseok’s voice cracked at the last words, his fingers coming to a stop stop the plastic keys. Unable to keep his tears in check, he hurriedly said a thank you into the mic and left the stage, not wanting to cry in front of an audience.

A familiar hand caught him on his way to the parking lot, fingers closing around his wrist like he should've done all those weeks ago. He turned around slowly, eyes still wet with tears but managing to keep his emotions in check now, as he faced the person who stopped his tracks.

Minhyuk was as beautiful as ever, long lashes framing his slender face and just a hint of his front teeth peeking out from under his lip. He was staring into Hoseok’s eyes with a spark, one that grew into a flame the longer they held eye contact.

“Hyung, why didn't you stop me, then?” Minhyuk’s voice was thick with unshed tears.

“You came,” Hoseok croaked out, wiping at his tears roughly with the heel of his hand. “Why?”

“You didn’t answer my question.” He remained unmoved. “What happened? Hoseok, please tell me what I did wrong.”

“Nothing,” he muttered. “You were in danger. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Minhyuk chuckled mirthlessly. “And you ended up hurting me even more.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. My ex - the one you saw in the picture - is a crazy bitch who showed up out of the blue and threatened to kill you. Knowing her… she would’ve done it, too.” Hoseok launched into his explanation, deciding that screw Soyeon, whatever she decided to throw at him next, they would face it together.

When he finished, Minhyuk stared at him with disbelief before punching his arm, hard. “That was for making both of us suffer because you were being stupid. I could’ve very well taken care of myself, thank you very much.” He pulled Hoseok into a kiss. “And that was for…well, I wanted to kiss you. I missed you, Seokie.”

“Me too, Min Min,” he murmured back, claiming his soft lips once again.

Someone clearing their throat interrupted their impromptu makeout session. Kihyun was watching them with a bored expression, an eyebrow raised in judgement, but Hoseok knew it was his friend’s way of showing he was happy for them. “Sorry to interrupt, but I thought I should let you know your ex got arrested.”

Hoseok stared at him in shock. “What? How?”

Kihyun shrugged. “I saw her the first time when she came to the club, and then when she come out of our building. She seemed sketchy, so I reported her to the police. Turns out they found something, cuz she got arrested for more than just being a stalker. Anyway, I'll leave you two be now.” Leave it to Kihyun to walk away after dropping an information bomb as if nothing was wrong.

“So I guess that means your ex won't be getting into our way anymore, hmm?” Minhyuk asked, batting his eyelashes at him.

“Yeah. She's finally gone,” Hoseok replied. He reached for another kiss, only to find Minhyuk stepping away from him mischievously.

“We're not together~ Isn't it improper to kiss someone before asking them out?” Minhyuk said innocently.

Hoseok rolled his eyes but obliged anyway. “Hey, you're pretty and I'm cute. Together we'd be pretty cute.”

Minhyuk pouted, but couldn't help the smile on his face. “You know I don't like to be called pretty. Tell me another one.”

“Did the sun come out? Or did you just smile?” This elicited a giggle from him, making Hoseok grin as well. “Lee Minhyuk, will you go out with me?”

He pretended to consider. “What was that?”

“Youarethemostbeautifulpersonintheworldimsorryihurtyoupleasegivemeaseconechanceandgooutwithmeiloveyou.”

“Yes.”

It was Hoseok’s turn to tease. “I'm - what did you say?”

“I'll go out with you. I love you too.” There was a blush on his cheeks, and Hoseok noted that he's said the L-word back.

“Then why didn't you tell me sooner?”

Minhyuk rolled his eyes in exaggeration. “I was waiting for you to ask me out first. You’re cute when you’re nervous.”

They exchanged grins, and suddenly, Hoseok’s world was bright again, lit by the sun called Lee Minhyuk.

(“Kihyun hyung, the lovebirds are being gross again!”

“Yah, you're worse with Kihyun anyway!”)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading what was written over several nights of what am I doing with my life. Comments and criticism always appreciated, let me know what you thought of my first Monsta X fic! Have an awesome day/night lovelies!
> 
> ~ Starjay


End file.
